


I Trust You

by literallywhat



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy is a History Nerd, Drinking, Drug Use, M/M, almost sex?, bellamy loves murphy he just has trust issues, change in POV after first chapter, murphy loves and trusts bellamy, trigger warning-rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-18 23:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7335910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallywhat/pseuds/literallywhat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sounds like he doesn't trust you."<br/>"I'll give him a reason not to trust me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Murph. Long time, no see." Finn spoke as he slipped himself in between the table that I was standing in front of, and myself.

"Finn...you look..." _Like a drug addict._ "Good!"

"You still look sexy as hell." He took my whole appearance in. "You still dating that history guy?"

I laughed bitterly. "Yeah. I don't know, actually. We got in a really big fight, told me I needed to do things other than harass him and his friends, so I came here."

"Whoa, looks like the perfect couple isn't so perfect after all."

My eyes narrowed at him. "I never said we were perfect. We're fucked. But we love each other, so it works."

"Not this time, babe."

"Don't call me that." I shrugged his hand off my shoulder just as soon as he put it there. It was warm.

"You know what your problem is?" He took a step back, realizing he was too close to me.

"Oh, tell me. Tell me what my fucking problem is. I'd _love_ to hear it."

"You don't stick up for yourself. You let him push you around, and you don't do anything about it. You have to make him regret treating you like shit."

"He doesn't treat me like shit, he treats me-"

"Like an addict?"

"Fuck you." I picked up a drink, but put it down.

"Drink a little. You're not his child. You don't have to do what he fuckin' says all the time. He doesn't get to make the rules."

I bit my lip, but reluctantly grabbed my drink again. I wanted to drink, I did, but I didn't want Bellamy to be upset with me. _No, you know, Finn is right. Fuck Bellamy. He doesn't control me_. So I downed my drink.

As the night passed on, and the topic of Bellamy was brought up and dropped frequently, Finn and I migrated to the couch and were yelling over the loud music.

"You know what, too?!" I said, just as we started talking about something else.

"What?" He laughed.

"He always flirts with girls and guys and lets them flirt back, yet I can barely even fucking shake hands with a guy."

"Sounds like he doesn't trust you." Out of every offensive thing he's ever said to me, that's the comment that hit me hard. It was better when he called me a whore, slut, useless, when we weren't having sex. I knew he didn't care about me too much, and I didn't care about him too much. But to hear that last statement, which was probably true, about the man I love and trust, and how he doesn't trust me back. That broke my heart.

"I'll give him a reason not to trust me." Finn opened his mouth, about to ask what I meant, but my lips were on his before he even got a chance to breathe. He tasted like salty water and cigarettes. His tongue was slimy, more than you would've thought, and his teeth kept clashing against mine. He got into it before he could even process what was happening. He pulled me onto his lap. His jeans were especially rough against mine, but I got lost in the kiss and soon forgot the sandpapery feeling rubbing against me. I don't know how long we were kissing, but I got shot back into reality when I felt a sweaty palm rest on my thigh--the holes in my jeans were placed in either really convenient or really inconvenient places.

I pulled away from the kiss. His eyes were wide, and I'm sure mine were too. I stood up, and I think I said something about a bedroom. We walked up the stairs. I couldn't hear anything he was saying over the music and other people talking. I pulled him into the nearest room and closed the door. I pushed him down on the bed and continued to kiss him.

Suddenly the adrenaline rush dissolved, and I felt sick. My stomach turned to acid, and my heartbeat increased dramatically. I pulled away after some amount of time.

"I'm sorry..." I ran my fingers through my hair, got off his lap, and sat next to him, still out of breath.

"Sorry?" He questioned.

"Yeah. I really should be heading home now..." I bit my lip and turned my head to the side. I needed to leave.

"Why? Didn't you wanna give him a reason not to trust you?"

"I think I already did." I looked up at him and scoffed, his eyes were hungry. I went to stand up, but he put his hand on my thigh. His sweaty hand.

"You haven't been with a guy that wasn't Bellamy in so long. Don't you miss hard sex? Dirty sex, rough, kinky, anything? You told me he's boring...don't you miss being fun?"

"I'm just gonna go home." Then he put his lips on mine again. I actually rolled my eyes, but let him for a minute more. I guess I got used to the taste in his mouth, because at that point it wasn't bothering me anymore. But once again, I pulled away.

"It was nice seeing you, Finn, I guess...but I really gotta get home." I went to stand up, but he held me down.

"Home? To Bellamy? You've talked such shit about him all night, then you fucking made out with me. You said you wanted to give him a reason not to trust you, so fucking do it." His voice was harsh. He's spoken to me like that before, I've heard it many times in the past.

"I already did. I want to go home now."

"Not before we have some fun, Murphy." He gave me a crooked smile and crawled onto my lap, and his lips were on mine.

Suddenly my back was flat to the bed, and it was that moment that I realized my shirt was off. As I tried to get up, and failed, my heartbeat became painful. It was hard against my chest, feeling like it was about to pop out of my skin. I closed my eyes tight, and tried to sink further into the mattress--I couldn't. _This isn't happening right now. This isn't fucking happening. I'm at home, sleeping, Bellamy is next to me. This is a dream. A nightmare._

He kissed me with desire. A hungry, scary desire. I felt like a deer who was still hanging onto its life while being eaten by a bear. He was making noises, grunting noises, when I realized he was rutting up against me. _When did he take his pants off?_ My mouth just hung open as my body lie still, letting him do as he pleased. I knew I couldn't fight him off. I asked him again to stop once he pulled away to kiss my neck.

"You want this." He said as he bit my neck roughly--further proving my deer/bear theory.

"No, I-ah...I wanna go home."

"Then why were you all fucking over me? You fucking want this. You want this you dirty little slut. You love to be fucked and used, don't you." I knew if I responded that tears would form, so I stayed quiet.

I pretended the rest of the night didn't happen. I ignored the stretching sensation between my legs, I ignored the sweat covering my body, I ignored the sounds coming from his mouth--my mouth, I ignored the warm sensation I felt spread through my lower body before he pulled out, I ignored the fact that he didn't use a condom, I ignored him calling me a "good time", and I ignored him walking out of the room--probably just to snort coke. I ignored the tears running down my face as I put on my clothes. I ignored the vomit that I had to wash off of my shirt.

I walked home that night. I felt so disgusting, I borrowed a hair brush from some chick and brushed my hair, brushed my teeth...and then I was home. With Bellamy. The man I loved, and the man who I trusted. The man who probably doesn't trust me. The man who shouldn't trust me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bellamy finds out

“…This is Murphy. If I didn’t answer it’s ‘cause I don’t like you. Don’t leave a message.” _Beep_.

“Fuck!” Bellamy yelled as he hung up his phone and grabbed his keys. If Murphy wasn’t going to answer, Bellamy was just going to have to find him. As soon as he swung the door open, he saw a lonely Murphy on the stoop about to open the door.

“Where the fuck have you been? Get in the damn house.” Bellamy pulled him in before Murphy even realized that he was home. “Are you drunk?”

“Not really…” Bellamy crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. “Okay, a little. What the fuck, do you have a poll up your ass? I’m allowed to drink a little.”

“Where were you.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“Listen, we can talk tomorrow, I just wanna go to bed.”

Bellamy could see the exhaustion in his eyes, so he gave him a silent kiss on the forehead and watched his boyfriend walk up the stairs to their room. Bellamy knew he would go to sleep in his dirty “street clothes”, but he did not know that Murphy would cry himself to sleep that night.

-

Murphy woke up the next day, dirty, and in the same clothes he had on the pervious night. The bed was empty, and Murphy felt empty. He showered, and walked downstairs timidly. When he saw Bellamy, he wanted to collapse and tell him what happened—that he cheated. But he didn’t. He just sat down at the kitchen table.

“So want to explain what happened last night?” Bellamy put a cup of coffee in front of his boyfriend and sat across from him, not sounding nearly as angry as Murphy expected.

He let out a deep sigh. “Last night I was mad at you, so I just went out and had a few drinks.”

“With who.”

He rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool, although guilt was bubbling up inside of him. “I just went to an old friend’s house…”

“Did you get high with them?”

“Jesus Christ, Bell!” Murphy pushed himself away from the table so quickly his coffee spilled a little. He stood as he continued. “You won’t let me hang out with your friends, and you won’t let me hang out with my friends. What am I supposed to do!? Sit at home alone all day? Is that what you want? Oh, you might as well get surveillance cameras around the house to make sure I don’t do anything to fuck up. Great idea, right? Drug test me everyday, because you don’t fucking trust me.” He softened up by the last sentence, the anger having left his voice.

Bellamy stood up and put his arm around Murphy, who recoiled almost instantly. “I do trust you.”

Murphy froze and looked up at the older man with wide eyes. “You do?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t you think so?”

Murphy stood with his mouth open. _I fucked up last night_.

“Murph?” Bellamy took him out of his mind, pulled him out of the sea of guilt he was drowning in, the same sea he was positive he’d fall back into.

“Thanks,” Murphy looked down. “Thanks for trusting me, Bell…but last night, our fight-”

“I didn’t mean what I said. It’s just…sometimes you’re kinda..”

“A dick?”

Bellamy let out a chuckle. “As Clarke would put it, yeah.” He ran his hand over his tanned face. “I love you. But you need to get out of the house more.” He pulled him in a hug and continued to speak, knowing exactly what Murphy’s response was going to be. “And not with your old druggie friends, but like…get a job.”

Murphy rolled his eyes. “What job is going to hire an almost high school drop out who has no prior experience and has a record with the police.”

“You’ll find something.” And Bellamy gave him a final kiss on the forehead and walked out to go to his job. His successful career.

Murphy spent his day job-hunting, and Bellamy spent his day at a desk. That night, they were both exhausted, and Murphy was more than irritated.

“Don’t expect them to call you right away, Murph.” He laughed as he watched his boyfriend stare at his phone waiting for a call back. “You gotta give them time.”

“It’s just so stressful.” Murphy drawled on. He was lying on his back; an arm behind his head and the other tossed his phone carelessly on the ground.

“Oh, we don’t want you to be stressed, do we?” Bellamy’s voice was low, and suddenly the ceiling fan was replaced with his face. Murphy smirked as Bellamy leaned forward and kissed him tenderly. Bellamy tasted like steak and soda. Maybe it’s because that’s what they just had for dinner, but compared to Finn it was— _why was he thinking about Finn?_

Things started off slow and tender. Bellamy bit Murphy’s neck in just the right way, and then things got quicker. Murphy sat up and kissed Bellamy hard. They broke just to remove their shirts. Murphy had his hands tangled in the beautiful curls of his boyfriend and moaned. He had always been the vocal one…

Then Murphy was on his back. His heart was racing, he was nervous.

_“It’s weird that you’re not begging for more, Murph. You’ve always been kinda a slut, huh.” Finn said as he unbuttoned Murphy’s pants._

Bellamy was undoing the button on his pants, and Murphy kissed him harder.

_“I’ve only seen you this shy the first time we fucked.”_

Bellamy was surprised at how eager his boyfriend was. He was biting at Bellamy and making more noises than usual. Bellamy would have been concerned if it weren’t for the fact that he had a throbbing erection that needed attention.

_“Are you trying to hold back those pretty little sounds you always make?” He grinded against Murphy, and although he didn’t want it, he had to admit it felt good._

_“No, I want you to stop. Please.” That was a foreign word in his mouth, it tasted weird, but he hoped it would get him out of his situation. It didn’t._

Murphy didn’t realize his and Bellamy’s pants were both off, leaving the two of them in their underwear.

_“You clearly don’t love Bellamy, or you wouldn’t have started this.”_

“I love you.” Murphy mumbled against Bellamy’s lips.

“I love you too.” Bellamy breathed out.

Then he reached down and started _taking off his boxers. Finn lost a significant amount of weight, probably due to the cocaine. Murphy remembered when he looked like that. Then Murphy’s boxers were off. The air was hot and sticky, and he felt something press up against his-_

“I told you no!” Murphy pushed Bellamy off of himself and sat up. He made eye contact with Bellamy and immediately apologized. “Shit, sorry. I just…I’m real fuckin’ tired.” He let out a forced laugh. “I’m just gonna go to bed. It’s kinda late.” Laying down, he felt himself being pulled back up.

“You never go to bed this early. It’s 10pm. Tell me what that was about.” Bellamy’s voice was soft but stern, and Murphy just wanted to curl up into a ball and die.

“You’re gonna be mad at me…” He looked down and chewed on his lip, something he only enjoyed when Bellamy did it to him.

“What happened.” And there it was. The stern “you fucked up, didn’t you?” voice.

“I was mad at you…I went to a party. I figured, well, fuck you, I can do what I want. I got there and I just wanted to go home, but then Finn started talking to me, and he brought you up, and I started talking shit about you. He told me to drink a little, that you treat me like a drug addict…a few more drinks later, he said you didn’t trust me.”

“Murphy,”

“Let me finish, please.” Murphy still had not looked into Bellamy’s eyes. “And I said…I told him I was gonna give you a reason not to trust me.” Murphy’s heart was racing, and his palms were sweating. “And I kissed him.”

“You kissed Finn? Was that it?”

Murphy looked into Bellamy’s eyes, only to start sobbing. “I didn’t want to sleep with him, Bell, I swear! I told him I wanted to go home, that I fucked up, I regretted kissing him and I just wanted to come home, but he said I couldn’t until we had some fun, but I told him no. And I’m sorry, Bellamy. I cheated on you, but don’t worry, karma fucked me up the ass right after.” _Literally_. “I got what I deserved, and now you can break up with me and tell all your friends that they were right, and that I am just an asshole who gives good blowjobs, and that I’m-”

“Murphy.”

“I’m sorry.” He sniffled.

“You cheated. You did fuck up.”

Murphy rolled his red brimmed eyes and began to stand up. “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“But what happened was not your fault.”

Murphy stopped and looked at his face, all he saw was sincerity. “But I cheated on you.”

“We make mistakes…but that shouldn’t have happened to you. That’s not your fault. I am mad at you though, and we do need to have a talk.” He saw Murphy’s eyes begin to water again. “But not now. We can just lay down, okay?”

“Do you still love me?” Murphy’s voice was quiet.

“Well you are a really big asshole…but you do give great blowjobs.” Bellamy’s lips quirked up into a half smile. “Besides, you can be pretty cute sometimes. You’re not too bad looking…you make me laugh on occasion.” Bellamy stopped and kissed him softly. “Of course I still love you.”

“But I-”

“And we can talk about that later. Right now we should just sleep.”

And so they slept. Murphy was in the powerful embrace of Bellamy, his dreams were filled with anxiety about their next “talk”, but he knew everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry, i really didn't know how to end this so i just kinda stopped. i'm sorry if it sucked. but if you want please leave me a comment or go to my tumblr and give me feedback (arrange-me). thank u all for reading. ily

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this for a different fandom a while ago, so i just changed the names lmao sorry. murphy and finn were basically fuck buddies who snorted coke together. sorry that this is bad. comments and kudos would be greatly appreciated. thank u sm.


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